Matter of Values!
Lately, my two-year-old daughter has by-hearted this phrase “Daddy what’s the matter?” The other day we promised to take her to the beach if she sits in the car seat and be a good girl. She pretty much was in anticipation of her reward until we drove home without taking her to the beach. First words she exclaimed watching me reverse back into garage, “Daddy what’s the matter with the beach?” I gave her some gibberish reason and she cutely accepted.
Later on, I thought I shouldn’t be doing this to a two year old, for two reasons. First, “Integrity” being one of my core values if I exhibit this behavior to my kids, it would register in their subconscious brain and would later on become part of their personality. Second, Aanya & I both love the beach so not to miss out on great opportunity to escape from the grind.
Our value system is reflection of our personality because it feeds off directly from the experiences our brain had registered in past. For example, if “love & connection” is one of my values then I’m bound to have certain rules around looks, dress up, appearance and what I portray to the outside world. People with such values would want people to admire them when they look good and they do the same to others. It is part of the basic instinct “dress to impress” and becomes their second nature and a rule ensuring they wear their attitude.
Now if someone stops them from dressing up nicely or objects to their appearance they feel attacked and would react either passively or aggressively. In my personal experience, best way to stop such retaliation is to be authentic to them and vice versa. Irrespective of colour, race, or sex value does matter because it is deeply ingrained in our neural pathways based on personal experiences we have since childhood. They are your rulebook to decide what’s right or wrong when faced by situational or emotional dilemma.
So when in doubt speak to your values…
“It is not hard to make a decision when you know what your values are” – Roy Disney
First released to the audience on November 20, 2016